The Carrot Spatula

Have you ever found yourself cooking meat and onions and at the same time holding a raw carrot? If not, you should try it, because it’s fun.

Have you ever been slowly poisoned by something without really noticing? It’s generally something considered “inadvisable.”

Anyways, now you can COMBINE your desire to not be slowly poisoned to a cruel and painful death WITH your desire to hold and consume a raw carrot while cooking meat and onions.

I call it… The Carrot Spatula.

Here’s how it works: You take the fork out of your right hand and stab it partially into a piece of meat so that the sharp tines are muted. Then, you take the carrot, and you use its blunt, crisp, delicious end to stir the meat and onions. This allows you to consume your meal of meat and potatoes without risking the consumption of any toxic poisonous flakes of non-stick frying pan.

Plus, it makes your pictures look WAY better. First, check out this perfectly gorgeous-looking full-colored pan of food.

Now, compare this ugly, sepia-toned picture of THE SAME FOOD sans carrot.

Tragic.

AND BONUS —

Your carrot is likely to soak up freaking delicious meat and onion juices, fat, and spices, and thereby increase its flavor factor substantially WITHOUT ceasing to be an official health food.

Brought to you by your local carrot snapper (person from Utah).